Artist Fatigue

I love writing.

Like, I LOVE it. It’s what I do when I get home. It’s what I think about all day.

And I LOVE it.

But … there’s a lot of other stuff that I don’t love. And this is the stuff that makes me tired, and gives me “artist’s fatigue.”

This is when I think about throwing my laptop into a river and never writing again because it sucks, I hate it, and I just want to cry with some ice cream. Take note, though, it's not actually writing that makes me feel this way.

It's the other stuff. If you want an idea on what this stuff is, Google “tips on getting your book published.”

There‘s a whole list of stuff there, like …

Stay active on social media (IE: spend hours trying to network and let people know your work exists)

Find an editor for your polished draft (IE: spend hundreds of dollars so people can find your spelling mistakes).

Tips on writing a query (IE: how to sell the thing you love and yourself).

Self publishing tips (IE: how to invest your time and money).

Networking (IE: how to put your best foot forward without it being obvious you want something from someone . . . )

And that list of "extra work" goes on and on and on and on and . . .

Then, there's the emotional aspects that are exhausting. Like . . . why isn't my Instagram post getting far? How is the algorithm working for me? I've uploaded a chapter of my story on Wattpad, why isn't anyone reading it? I've got a stressed bank account, how am I going to afford an editor for my work? Do I have any friends (writer or otherwise) who would even want to read it? Why aren't they getting back to me? Does the story suck, so they find it really hard to read? I've gotten a hundred rejection letters this year, how am I going to pull myself up from that many?

And all this extra work and emotional labor—the work that isn't sitting in front of a computer and writing something I'm really passionate about writing—is what I hate.

Honestly, as I write this, I'm fatigued. I'm so fatigued I'm thinking to myself . . . maybe the reason I'm struggling so much with the other stuff is because I suck. Maybe that's it—maybe I suck, and that's why no one wants to read what I write no matter how much time, energy, and money I invest in it.

And I'm . . . well, I'm pretty sure that's not true. But, when I'm fatigued, I don't think straight. I just think that everything sucks.

For that reason, I don't want to worry about all that stuff anymore. I just want to write, and make art.

Any tips on how to do that?

I'm just going to do my best, and maybe get a good sleep after eating some ice cream.

With any luck, it'll be better in the morning, and I won't feel so fatigued.

Plus, writing a chapter of a story I like writing makes me feel relaxed.

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